BFN

I've been reading a few online forums and websites and they all use acronyms for everything!  BFN also known as Big Fat Negative.  For those of you who really know me, I definitely would substitute a different word for the F, but I think just about everyone can figure that one out!  Unfortunately, on Saturday I received the call from my nurse at the clinic.  I could tell by the first words she spoke that her news wouldn't be good.  She told me that my hCG (Human Chorionic Gonadotropin) level was at a 2, which was way too low for me to be pregnant.  A hCG level of less than 5mIU/ml is considered negative for pregnancy, and anything above 25mIU/ml is considered positive for pregnancy.  My levels should have been significantly higher as I waited three weeks instead of testing at the two week point.

In other words this ivf cycle did not work.  Nicole, my nurse, said that the next step was to set up an appointment with the doc at the clinic in this next week and discuss our options for the future.  I'm not really sure what else she said during the phone call... after the words "that level is too low for a successful pregnancy," I kinda stopped listening.  I do recall her saying that the next time around would be "easier" as I won't have to have as many drugs to prepare my body, but that the prescriptions would be slightly different than this first time around. 

To say I was devastated would the biggest an understatement of the year.  I'm not sure if I am just a little naive or what...at first I always assumed that having kids would be easy, and would happen immediately... now I thought that ivf would just work, it had to right?  Everything was perfect, everything went well... but what happened?!  There are probably a million and a half scenarios that have already gone through my head as to why things went the way they did, which is probably why I have 2 cold sores on my bottom lip... a little stress maybe???? Unfortunately, I don't think I can sit around and  keep trying to figure out what happened, as I'll probably never know.  All I do know is that something must not have been right, there has to be some reason as to why this time around didn't work. 

Well we'll see what the doc has to say....!

Let the waiting game begin again! Until next time,
ALJ